It Will Never Be

I'd like to smile a million smiles, and walk the streets with glee.
And though it seems so easy, I know it will never be.
Come share my life forever, I wish e would say to me.
And though my love is deep and strong, I know he will never see.
If I couldsave the world, and calm the roughest sea,
It wouldn't mean a thing, without his company.
I would like to let him know, just what he has done to me.
He hasmade my life worth living and made my love run deep.
I dream of me and him and fantasize of him and me.
I long to feel his body, between my legs and sheets.
I'd like to get to know him and give him what he needs.
And though it seems so easy, I know it will never be.


Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Same Old Me

The same old feelings, on every same old day.
The same old broken heart, keeping me locked away.
The same old worthless dreams.
The same old insecurities.
How could I let this happen to me?
I need to make a change.
I need someone to show me the way.
I can't stay here with the same old me,
Living the same old life week to week.
Please love come and set me free,
From the same old me that doesn't love me.
Please love give me an escape,
From this same old heartache and the same old pain.
I really need to make change.
This same old me needs to feel love again.
Please love make me feel whole once more.
Help me get away, please,
From this same old me,
And open another door.


Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

My One Temptation

Ever since our separation,
I've been looking for an imitation,
One who could provide the same stimulation,
One who could top your penetration,
One who would bring me gratification,
But none could counter my expectations.
Complication after complication,
But never providing any extreme fascinations.
I tried so hard to establish a foundation,
But I could not control my need for domination.
So now here I sit in complete isolation,
Longing for your sweet sensation.
Even when I think of all the painful manipulation,
My heart still feels the strongest adoration.
I would jump into your arms without any hesitation.
I give my heart and soul to you, my one temptation.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

MY VALENTINE'S DAY WISH

The moment I saw your face and heard the words glide from your tongue
No longer did I have to wonder, for I knew you were the one.
Your words were so delicate and pleasant to hear.
The sweetness of your voice was just like heaven to my ears.
And when I closed my eyes, and turned and walked away
Underneath my eyelids was a vision of your face.
With skin as smooth as silk and hair so rich and black.
The seductiveness of your eyes, the muscles along your back.
Your body not too thin, nor too fat.
I long to see you smiling in your sexy little hat.
My Valentine's Day wish is only to be in your arms.
Feeling all of your passion, feeling all of your charm.
Or maybe sharing one night, making love between the covers
Enjoying every moment while pretending we are lovers.
Or maybe a night on the town, letting me love you down.
Sexing you from head to toe and kissing you all around.
The sky is the limit and I'll take you all the way.
Caressing your fine body, and kissing your handsome face.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

INSPIRATION

You're my inspiration, you make me happy and sometimes sad.
You're the inspiration I've been missing for such a long time.
You're the reason for my emotions and the reason I'm writing lines.
You're my inspiration, I think of you each and every day.
You're my inspiration, the thoughts I think and most of the words I say.
You're my sadness and sorrow; you're my sunshine but also my rain.
You're my dark cloud hanging over, my joy and sometimes my pain.
You inspire me to be happy, you inspire me to change.
You inspire me to be me and feel no shame
You're my inspiration, you give me strength to help me grow
You're my inspiration, you give me the courage to go on.
I think of the words you said, when you let me go.
I think of our sneaking around, there's so much that no one knows.
You inspire me to belive that no matter what life must go on.
Things are still working out although you are gone.
I take my inspiration and pass it to other folks I see.
To inspire them in their lives, just as you have done for me.
You're my inspiration, your inspiring ways have grown on me.
I'm craving you, oh, so much, but I refuse to let you see.
I hold on to your sound advice to keep my mind at ease.
Do you know you'r my inspiration? You're the joy and the pain in me.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

THEN CAME YOU

Never been in love with a man before
Never thought a man could be true
Never had a nigga shut the door
Or twist my mind and leave me confused

Then came you
You lit a spark in me
I never knew
My private little fantasies
Could ever come true
I never felt so deep
Then came you.
Then came you.

Never saw a smile that made me weak
Or lips that made me want to touch them
Never felt a touch that made me wanna freak
Or a man that made me wanna love him

Then came you
You lit a spark in me
I never knew
My private little fantasies
Could ever come true
I never felt so deep
Then came you.
Then came you.
And now I am so happy

Never gonna love again the way I love you
Never gonna close my heart. It is open just for you
Never gonna wear a frown again. I'm so into you
Never gonna walk away from this love, so true.
Cause you make me happy.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

JUST A GAME

When they have given you their all, how much more do they have to give?
When you tell them they are nothing, how are they supposed to feel?
When you break down their dreams, and call yourself showing them a reality
All you make them see, is that you are the one that is nothing.
The little comments that you make may encourage you to feel you are a king
But I tell them to look at you and smile, you live in misery as nothing
When they are down and distressed, you do nothing to help them through
It seems the only thing that matters to you is that L or W.
Really, it is just a game and that means some you will win and some you will lose
The children should only play for themselves, not as an unconditional favor to you
They are always looking over their shoulders, trying to keep from making a mistake
Because they know that one simple mistake will determine if and when they get to play
I am not trying to condemn your methods, I am only making a suggestion to you
I suggest you listen to the children, don't just offend them, try to praise them too
Let them make one mistake, because they are human just as you and I
Making mistakes is just a part of life
Being a coach is not just calling the play, you have to be there for them emotionally too
Don't just tell them you want a win; you have to have a positive attitude
You have to be behind them a hundred percent, and encourage them to be strong
And remember it is a team effort, teach them that no one can make it alone
And to you boys, my sons, my babies, just know that I will always have your back
I will be there to encourage you, and help you through and keep you on track
Through every win and every loss, never lose your faith
Be proud of who you are, and remember it is just a game.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Too Bad For Me

Again love has blinded me
Sent me straight into the arms of the enemy
Broken-hearted, too bad for me
So easily forsakened, so easily deceived
So desperate to find my true destiny
Taking for granted you were honestly in love with me
Never knowing I was creating my own demise
Never realizing the deceit hidden beneath your eyes
Never questioning your feelings, believing all the lies
Never questioning your motives, never thinking twice

Again love has blown my heart away
Turned my tremendous joy into unbearable pain
Took the beauty of my smile and left sorrow in its place
Ruined the delightful expression, left a look of hurt on my face
Filled me with emotions I can't erase
Filled me with devotion that just won't fade
Filled me with the notion that our love would never change
Filled me with a fantasy of you loving me the same

Again love has blinded me
Even when my heart was breaking, I still couldn't see
Broken-hearted, too bad for me
Too easily forsakened, too easily decieved
Too caught up obsessing over the memories
Broken-hearted, too bad for me.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

To the Man I Love, from Someone Who Loves You

Someone who loves you is reaching out her hand
To hold you and be there for you in any way she can
She is ripping; she is running to keep you satisfied
Yet you seem to neve notice, she is right there by your side.
Her understanding is great and her patience is undying
The more she tries to reach you, is the more she must keep trying
Someone who loves you is giving you her all
Through all her personal problems, she is there when you fall
She is the wall that you lean on, when your body has grown weak.
She is the spark in your life, when all things seem so bleak
When all is dark, she shines and provides light
And when your vision is blurry, she gives you sight
Someone who loves you even cherishes your name
You are sacred in her heart, but she is a pawn in your game
Her love, her devotion, and her heart she has given to you
But you refuse her, and refute her and leave her sad and blue
Someone who loves you continues to hold on to the dream
The dream of sharing life with you, no matter how imaginative it seems
She prays one day you slow down and look to your right side
And realize the smiling face staring back at you, is what's missing from your life.
To someone that loves you, you mean everything
And now you should know, the someone who loves you is me.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE

I can't take this madness, this stress, this pain.
It seems every day life is driving me insane.
The bills touch the ceiling, the roof now touches the ground.
Even when there is silence, noises still linger around.
My body was too thin yesterday, but now it is too fat.
I used to have a vivid memory, but now it's set on whack.
My love went on vacation and it never came back.
I've got to end this misery, cause I will never get back on track.
I pray that GOD will help me, before I have to pack.
My suitcase is nearly ready, to set forth on that blessed trip.
I hope that GOD forgives me, for wanting to leave so quick.
So I am going to take this medicine and slowly close my eyes.
Hoping that in the morning the sun doesn't rise.
Hoping that this madness is over and I make it to the other side.
Still, free, and breathless, a successful suicide.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

WALK AWAY

I won't be mad at you now, if you turn and walk away.
I won't be mad at you now, if you have no more to say.

I won't be mad at you
If you left me blue
Just as long as you do
What is best for you
I know that some times
You may need to clear your mind
And get away from me
But this time I won't cry if you leave

I won't be mad at you now, if you want to be free.
I won't be mad at you now, if you no longer want me.

I won't be mad at you
If our love is through
Just as long as you do
What is best for you
I know its hard for you to say
That you really want to walk away
Though tears stream down my face
I won't beg you to stay, just walk away.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

SO DIVINE

I've been in love since we first met.
You're on my mind and I can't forget.
You lick my lips and then I start to sweat.
You touch my hips and make my panties wet...so divine.
It's just the simple thought of you and me.
You are the freak in my late night dreams.
You ignite all my squirms and screams
In love with you is where I'll always be.
You see your charm just blows my mind.
Your face so cute, your body so fine,
Your tongue so sweet, your kiss so divine,
And your love arouses me like wine...so divine.
I've got to be with you every day,
To release my mind from this blissful daze.
I'll never love another this way.
That's why I pray that you will always stay...so divine.
It's just the simple things you do to me.
You kiss my neck, and make my limbs go weak.
You touch my spot and I drop my knees.
You lick my back, while you take it deep...so divine.
No man alive could ever take your place.
The Energizer Bunny couldn't top your pace.
And baby, when we lay face to face.
I know this love could never be erased...so divine.
Passion burns for you deep in me.
Without your love, boy, where would I be?
Without your sex, how could I get to sleep?
Cause without you there would be no me.
I've got your back through thick and thin.
Make it last when we're skin to skin.
I'm in heaven when you stick it in.
Love when you do it again and again...so divine.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

What am I supposed to do when my heart is in your hands,
And the feelings I have inside of me, you just can't understand?
What measures do I need to take?
Because whether I stay or whether I go, my heart will only break.
What am I supposed to do when the things you say aren't the things you do?
When you say you could fall in love with me, but then leave me sad and blue?
What am I supposed to do when I see that smile that drives me wild?
Am I supposed to touch you like lovers do, or do I turn away like a child?
Cause damn, I want to caress you, or undress you, or something like that.
But I am just so afraid of you, I'm feeling you too, and I don't want to slip off track.
What am I supposed to do when your hands are around my waist?
What am I supposed to do when we are standing face to face?

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

FAITH

Tragedy overwhelms me
My body is tired and growing weary.
My days are as dark as nights
And I get no sleep
My GOD, if you are listening, please shine your light on me
Free me from the madness; shower me with your mercy
Struggle and strife
Has become the basis of my life
Working so hard to put food on the table
But always remembering that you are able
Knowing that you hear the message as I pray
Waiting for the moment when your blessings pour my way
These times are getting so hard
Yet I still have faith in you, merciful GOD
I know you will soon help me through
But losing hope because my life is so blue
The only thing that keeps my path straight
Is the thought of the blessings you have already sent my way
There were times when I lost my way
And you led me back and restored my faith
Now here I am again
Seeking the blessings from you, dear friend
Again I have lost my way
Losing more and more faith every day
But still I continue to pray
For I know you will bless me as long as I have faith

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

ANTICIPATING

I'm anticipating
Sitting here waiting
For the moment when I caan talk to you.

I'm anticipating
My ears are craving
Wanting to hear your every word, while my body feels your every move.

I'm anticipating
My heart is inflating,
Waiting to feel the chills you send throughout my soul.

I'm anticipating
Your verbal lovemaking,
You have got me and I can't let go.

I'm waiting to feel your body near me,
Praying the anticipation doesn't kill me.
Oh, how I'm anticipating your first touch.

My patience is growing thin.
Feels like the walls are caving in.
The more I anticipate, the more I fall in love.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis