Helpless

You know I'm not helpless I have lived a long time on my own.
No, I'm not helpless, I don't need a nigga to make this house a home.
I said I'm not helpless, and I know because each and every day.
I wake up in the morning free of pain.
The emptiness you caused once controlled my life.
Until I realized I was strong enough without you by my side.
My problems once consumed me and determined my day.
But now that I'm in control, the problems have gone away.
I feel no more worry, and I have no more pain.
Instead of crying over loss, I'm smiling from my gain.
I have so much freedom, my life is now complete.
I'm looking out for my baby, and GOD is looking out for me.
I'm not helpless, I have decided to have a thankful heart.
I have carried on gracefully since we had to part.
I'm not helpless and I'm no longer fragile within.
I realized I don't neeed you now, and I didn't even need you then.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Missing You

Sitting here and my head is a mess.
Down and out under so much stress.
Thinking about what we have been through.
I'm missing you. Do you miss me too?
Crying out but you don't hear my voice.
I can't complain because I made a choice.
My decision was to get rid of you.
But I'm the one that is feeling blue.
It is amazing how some things never change.
It seeems the more things change, the more they stay the same.
You've been away for quite some time.
But you still have a lock on my mind.
I knew the things people said were not true.
I was just so tired of life with you.
At the time I did what I had to do.
But now I'm missing you.

There is just something about the love we shared.
There was never doubt about how much you cared.
I think of the times we were a family.
And I know your place in life is here with me.
Sometimes I feel I won't make it through.
I'm in so much pain. Do you feel it too?
I'm holding on to all of the memories.
They help to comfort my endless misery.
When I look around I think of where we could be.
Somewhere in love raising our family.
So now you have to do what you have to do.
To get back home because I'm missing you.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

I once was filled with desire, but the spark has began to fade.
I once was bitten so deep by love its splendor filled my days.
But now I'm in desolation because my love has gone away.
I miss your dulcet voice and the amorous things you say.
When I close my eyes and cogitate about the love that's deep in me.
Your enchanting eyes and delectable lips are all I tend to see.
I often sit and contemplate, wondering what you could have done to me.
That breaks my heart when we are apart and leaves such misery.
It must have been your winsome ways that won my affections.
Or may be it was my admiration for you enormous erections.
Whatever the reason I'm yours. I am engrossed in sharing life with you.
I'm anticipating osculation and love making the whole night through.
It has been such a long time since I held you in my arms.
I need to have you with me to keep me sage and warm.
I'm waiting for the opportunity to reveal my true virtue.
I'm realizing finally, that I still love you.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Happy to be Me

I stand alone,

For only I am to blame when things go wrong.

My mind is free,

Allowing my happiness to flourish and my problems to cease.

I walk so proud.

Without even uttering a word I am loud.

One could feel the strength in me,

The strength that envelopes my soul and sets my mind free.

I speak loud and clear.

The words that float off of my tongue cause even the strong to fear.

They fear my intensity.

I am as fierce as a lion, but my voice is soft and sweet.

Who am I? All want to know

For they are intrigued by the light that makes my soul glow.

Ladies wish to be like me.

They hate, yet imitate all the things that are supreme about me.

Fellas yearn to touch me.

Never realizing if they touch me today, tomorrow they will love me.

I just can not explain.

There is something in how I say my name that drives men insane.

Women envy me.

Trying hard to understand how a man could be so into me.

I'll say it again, I stand alone.

My pride, my courage, my acceptance of who I am makes me strong.

I keep my mind free.

I welcome any challenge and value all opportunities.

I am just happy to be me.

I am secure with who I am and I am not afraid to succeed.

Material things just don't interest me.

I am just happy to be me.

I am just happy to be me.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Let You Go

Day dreams of you haunt me
I'm restless. I can't sleep.
My eyes cry. My heart cries.
My mind sighs. My body lies
Helpless and worthless
At times, feeling almost breathless.
I can't take the pain. I can't take the stress.
I've never felt so careless.
But remaining honest with myself.
If you can't love me then love someone else.
Even if that means I'm by myself.
If you can't love me, then love someone else.
You may think of me. I may think of you.
But it will be okay, cause my love is true.
I cherish you. I care for you so.
I love you enough to let you go.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis