All Alone 6-16-09

all alone I seem
all alone to dream of how great things used to be
between you and me so good i never thought i would be
all alone, so all alone it seems
without loving you there is no love at all for me
crazy as it all seems i know we were meant to be
but since there is no longer a you and me
all alone I seem
cant escape from this misery cant acknowledge there is no you and me
sitting here crying endlessly
I swear I never thought I would be
so all alone.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Imagining You and Me (written tonight)

Deep, bold, soulful and strong

The sound of your voice really turns me on

And when you're talking sexy, my mind just goes weak

Thinking about your body experiencing me

You're whispering so sweetly, so softly, in my ear

Telling me just how much you wish you were here

My hips began to sway as you get me in the mood

Now you've got me thinking about what I want to do to you

I smile as I listen to every word that you say to me

My mind creates an image of my private fantasies

You've got me squirming baby, I'm weak in the knees

I wish I had you near me baby, your body I would love to squeeze

And lick, and touch, and kiss gently, loving everything I feel and see

I can't wait for that lasting moment, when you are lying here next to me

Your voice so smooth, so slick, so fine; you're the ultimate fantasy

I'll love your body all night long, you are the answer to all my dreams

Wrtiten By: Tonya C. Lewis

Untitled (Not for children)_

I lay in my bed, lazily, with disturbing thoughts of you and me
The kind of thoughts that make me moist; the kind of thoughts that deter my sleep
Often times, I am simply imagining your love and all of its fury
Those warm summer nights, you holding me tight, as if being with me meant everything
Your hand gently caressing my face, as you kiss me, so long, so soft, and so deep
My body enjoying being wrapped in your arms, as you make love to me
I lay here in my bed wanting, lusting, yes, needing you desperately
Hoping that time will act as a friend and hurry you home to me
Soon I know it will be ten again, and you will come back to the city
I pray all goes well and the devil doesn't cast any spells throughout your journey
Until I see your face, my mind will be consumed with this entity
This love, this lust, this being... this living breathing thing, you created in me

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

AFFAIR

I'm trying to go on without you; I'm trying to forget those dark nights
When I felt all that matters was your body next to mine
I'm trying to let those memories fade, but they just won't say good-bye
Continuously my mind wonders when you will come back in my life
It seems our circumstances have changed, and now I'm trying to live right
I'm trying to forget the way you touchedme on those warm summer nights
Your hands upon my back, upon my breast, upon my face
I'm trying so hard not to think about your lips and their sweet taste
You were the first and you will be the last man to ever make me feel this way
I'm trapped inside your world and I'm trying to escape
But the power of your erection just won't let me get away
You ignite me and excite me in the worst kind of way
We break up and we make up because the passion just won't fade
We both know this journey is endless, but we refuse to turn away
We are drawn to one another, yet we know we should not be
Desire keeps me wanting to creep with you, and keeps you sneaking to be with me
From the moment I looked into your eyes, I felt the mutual attraction
I never thought you would be the one to bring me total satisfaction
Since this relationship evolved I've been through trials and tribulations
I would have never made it through without your concern and conversation
No one has ever been able to take this much control over me
You are all the words I speak and most of the images I see
I'm always looking forward to the special times we share
I know you won't be gone for long, because you crossed the line and started to care

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Chance

If left up to chance, I never would have fallen for you.
If left up to chance, there would be no desire to hold you.
If left up to chance, I would no know your capacity to love.
If left up to chance, there would be no cogitation, but there was.
It was not by chance that we met or spent the times together that we have shared.
It wasn't chance that opened your heart and gave you a reason to care.
It was love; it was passion; it was lust that first aroused your curiosity.
It was kindness, carefulness, and conversation that mesmerized me.
But now time has passed, and although we have gone our separate ways
I never thought for a moment that your heart would so drastically change.
It seems that I never knew you or that you have suddenly become someone else.
Instead of wanting to share some time with me, you would rather be by yourself.
Now everything is left to chance, our meetings and our conversations.
It is all left up to chance, when we will again have relations.
It is all left up to chance, whether we will rekindle the love we shared.
I'm leaving it up to chance, hoping there's a chance that you still care.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Kisses

I'm missing your kisses...
Your sweet lips pressed up against mine.
I'm missing your kisses...
When I tasted your lips for the last time.

It has been too long
Since I saw your face
Since we laid waist to waist
Since I had the last taste
And I know you say,
What we had, has since gone away
Still I can't erase
The taste... of your kisses.

At first I thought
That we could be cool
That I could just get over you
Now I know the truth
I could pass a million days
Even forget your face
Still I could never erase
The taste... of your kisses.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

The Story of Me and You

My openness
My honesty
My grateful heart
My integrity
With open arms
My charity
I shared with you
Unselfishly

My faithfulness
My strong beliefs
My purity
My dignity
My oneness and
My stability
Everything
You were to me

My determination
My bold strength
My powerful mind
You could not defeat
My utmost respect
My loyalty
So young and naive
You controlled me

My broken heart
My shattered dreams
My teary eyes
My disbelief
My broken pride
My misery
It took some time
But now I'm free.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Blissful (Written tonight 6-1-09)

He's calling me. He's chasing me.
Thoughts of freedom are raising me.
I can't catch up. I can't let go.
I can't convince him to just move on.
I'm dying. I can't breathe.
But I can't let fear discourage me.
I have to gain some energy.
I have to win. I must be free.
We had 4 years. Most of them bad.
We had some laughs, but most days were sad.
Yet he claims that he is so in love with me.
If that were true then he would see
Happy is something I will never be.
That is until he sets me free.
I have tried to be the perfect mate.
He'll never change. I must escape.
No one knows the trouble I see.
I can't express my will to be free.
No longer can I just leave me be.
If I love myself I must be freed.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Helpless

You know I'm not helpless I have lived a long time on my own.
No, I'm not helpless, I don't need a nigga to make this house a home.
I said I'm not helpless, and I know because each and every day.
I wake up in the morning free of pain.
The emptiness you caused once controlled my life.
Until I realized I was strong enough without you by my side.
My problems once consumed me and determined my day.
But now that I'm in control, the problems have gone away.
I feel no more worry, and I have no more pain.
Instead of crying over loss, I'm smiling from my gain.
I have so much freedom, my life is now complete.
I'm looking out for my baby, and GOD is looking out for me.
I'm not helpless, I have decided to have a thankful heart.
I have carried on gracefully since we had to part.
I'm not helpless and I'm no longer fragile within.
I realized I don't neeed you now, and I didn't even need you then.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Missing You

Sitting here and my head is a mess.
Down and out under so much stress.
Thinking about what we have been through.
I'm missing you. Do you miss me too?
Crying out but you don't hear my voice.
I can't complain because I made a choice.
My decision was to get rid of you.
But I'm the one that is feeling blue.
It is amazing how some things never change.
It seeems the more things change, the more they stay the same.
You've been away for quite some time.
But you still have a lock on my mind.
I knew the things people said were not true.
I was just so tired of life with you.
At the time I did what I had to do.
But now I'm missing you.

There is just something about the love we shared.
There was never doubt about how much you cared.
I think of the times we were a family.
And I know your place in life is here with me.
Sometimes I feel I won't make it through.
I'm in so much pain. Do you feel it too?
I'm holding on to all of the memories.
They help to comfort my endless misery.
When I look around I think of where we could be.
Somewhere in love raising our family.
So now you have to do what you have to do.
To get back home because I'm missing you.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

I once was filled with desire, but the spark has began to fade.
I once was bitten so deep by love its splendor filled my days.
But now I'm in desolation because my love has gone away.
I miss your dulcet voice and the amorous things you say.
When I close my eyes and cogitate about the love that's deep in me.
Your enchanting eyes and delectable lips are all I tend to see.
I often sit and contemplate, wondering what you could have done to me.
That breaks my heart when we are apart and leaves such misery.
It must have been your winsome ways that won my affections.
Or may be it was my admiration for you enormous erections.
Whatever the reason I'm yours. I am engrossed in sharing life with you.
I'm anticipating osculation and love making the whole night through.
It has been such a long time since I held you in my arms.
I need to have you with me to keep me sage and warm.
I'm waiting for the opportunity to reveal my true virtue.
I'm realizing finally, that I still love you.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Happy to be Me

I stand alone,

For only I am to blame when things go wrong.

My mind is free,

Allowing my happiness to flourish and my problems to cease.

I walk so proud.

Without even uttering a word I am loud.

One could feel the strength in me,

The strength that envelopes my soul and sets my mind free.

I speak loud and clear.

The words that float off of my tongue cause even the strong to fear.

They fear my intensity.

I am as fierce as a lion, but my voice is soft and sweet.

Who am I? All want to know

For they are intrigued by the light that makes my soul glow.

Ladies wish to be like me.

They hate, yet imitate all the things that are supreme about me.

Fellas yearn to touch me.

Never realizing if they touch me today, tomorrow they will love me.

I just can not explain.

There is something in how I say my name that drives men insane.

Women envy me.

Trying hard to understand how a man could be so into me.

I'll say it again, I stand alone.

My pride, my courage, my acceptance of who I am makes me strong.

I keep my mind free.

I welcome any challenge and value all opportunities.

I am just happy to be me.

I am secure with who I am and I am not afraid to succeed.

Material things just don't interest me.

I am just happy to be me.

I am just happy to be me.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Let You Go

Day dreams of you haunt me
I'm restless. I can't sleep.
My eyes cry. My heart cries.
My mind sighs. My body lies
Helpless and worthless
At times, feeling almost breathless.
I can't take the pain. I can't take the stress.
I've never felt so careless.
But remaining honest with myself.
If you can't love me then love someone else.
Even if that means I'm by myself.
If you can't love me, then love someone else.
You may think of me. I may think of you.
But it will be okay, cause my love is true.
I cherish you. I care for you so.
I love you enough to let you go.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

I'll Never Stop Loving You

I've imagined kissing your lips, at least a thousand times.
Remembering the essence and the delectable taste of wine.
Your caress is one of solicitude, so gentle and so sweet.
I'm enchanted by your eyes and your presence makes me weak.
We've been apart so long, yet you have never left my mind.
I close my eyes and think of you, so nonchalant, so smooth, so fine.
I remember your slender body, shimmering in the moonlight.
Your dulcet voice passing through my ears, makes me yearn to hold you tight.
Will there ever be a sweeter love or will there ever be a love as sweet,
As the love I feel and must conceal whenever you are near me?
Will I ever meet a man as amiable as the one that used to be mine?
Will I ever be albe to let go of you, so nonchalant, so smooth, so fine?
I must be candid in what I say to let you know it is all truth.
I must be honest when I let you know, I'll never stop loving you.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

I Can't Let Go

I feel your eyes as they pierce through my soul
You've got me hooked and I can't let go.
They look at me so deep and strong
I've been exposed, now I can't let go.
No matter where I glance or stare.
I can feel the emotions you silently bare.
Those eyes tell your private story.
Yor need for success, your want for glory.
Those eyes, so big, so black, so deep.
They stay with me. They help me breathe.
They keep me sane. They keep me strong.
They've got me in a zone. I can't let go.
Beneath my eyelids your stare lives on.
Those gentle eyes, they keep me strong.
Sometimes I fear that longing gaze.
Sometimes I wish they would fade away.
I don't understand why I see your eyes.
I long to know, please tell me why.
They are so beautiful and pleasant to see.
They have me lost in fantasy.
May be I see them in my mind to keep me strong.
For whatever reason I'm hooked. I can't let go.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Ode to the Black Man

O strong tough black man you stand so high
The taste of your presence makes passion draw nigh
Your face is as handsome as the boring day is long.
You live in a place of sin, though commit no wrong.

O strong tough black man, you shine on me
You shine with beauty and eyes of glee
Your skin, so dark, a delight to see.
You're full of blackness that is ever so sweet.

O strong tough black man, you lift me up so high
Your masculine voice makes love draw nigh
The gentleness of of your touch, the way you love me down
Everything lightens up when you come around.

O strong tough black man, set my soul on fire.
Take me on up higher, higher, and higher
Use me, confuse, but never go away
Your sweet, sexy lips, make me beg you to stay

O strong tough black man, you outshine the rest.
With your big brown thighs and rock hard chest
With your eyes that from temptation are saving me
Black man you will forever have me craving

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

I Want You

Every minute of every hour, it seems like you're wrecking my brain.
It hurts me to think for even a minute, that you don't feel she same.
I don't know what you have over me, well it could be the things you say.
It could be the vibe that you're sending, or the spark that you bring to my day.
It could be the look on your eyes, boy, that's making me feel this way.
My mind is in a daze
Its you that I crave
All that I can say is I Want You.

If GOD were to grant me one wish, I would ask to be there next to you.
Its driving me wild just thinking about how I would shoes my gratitude.
I can't figure out what it is, boy, that has me so locked into you.
It could be the way that smile lights up your face, or the essence in you I've seen in so few.
It could be the care and concern, boy, that you never fail to display.
My mind is in a daze.
My body just craves you.
All that's left to say is I Want You.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

Damn, look what you made me do...
Close my eyes to him and open them to you.
So I hope you are all the man that I need you to be
And I hope for your own sake, you can satisfy my needs

In one simple day, you opened my eyes to something new
My mind painted a picture of me lying next to you.
My body clinched tightly wanting to feel you deep inside.
As your lips touched my body, my eyes began to cry.

I wanted to tell you right then, just how long it has been
Since a man made me feel so happy, and special deep within.
Since I have been touched and kissed in your so romantic way.
So come on baby, let's play.

Written By: Tonya C. Lewis

SOMETHING NEW

I'm thinking about trying something new...

Something sweet, something cute, like you...

You make me wanna forget the old thing

And see the excitement that you could bring



I'm thinking about trying to see you

Seeing your charm, your ways, your moves

I've got to figure out what I can do

To put the charm on something new.



I'm thinking about trying something new

Something strong, something tough, like you

You make me wanna become a new me

And turn my back on the way things used to be



Come on, and try something new with me

Come share my world, my life, my dreams

Come, baby, try something new with me

I will be everything that you need me to be.



Written By: Tonya C. Lewis